Watching 5 seasons of "Lost" in 4 weeks is pretty time consuming as it turns out - especially because there's 25 episodes per season. I'm only on season 2 and that's why I've been MIA.
But here's the thing that's got me thinking (if you're not a "Lost" watcher you're welcome to stop now 'cause you won't know what the hell I'm talking about...or keep reading.)
Kate is one of my favorite female characters that I've come across in anything in a long time.* She's capable at everything from handling a gun to fighting to tracking to playing golf and poker. She's complicated and she has a past but she's essentially good, brave - tough yet still feminine. I'd like to be a Kate ... I'm not necessarily ready to be dropped on a desert island any time soon, but still, I'd like to be a Kate. I identify with Kate.
Jon-Barrett, my willing "Lost" companion and cheerleader (he's been watching from the very beginning and loves the series) said tonight that he didn't think I was a Kate and when I was disappointed he suggested that perhaps I only wanted to be a Kate because all the guys are in love with her. Which, yeah, that's a nice bonus, but of course they want to be with her, same reason I want to be her - she's awesome.
But that had me thinking more broadly about my success to failure ratio in life and Hollywood. Maybe the reason I haven't gotten all the things I want out of life yet is because I'm walking around thinking in my head that I'm a Kate while other people are seeing a Sun or Claire or Libby or Shannon. Maybe there's a fundamental disconnect between who I want to be and who I am and all my dreams keep falling off into the abyss between the two. Maybe I need to accept and embrace what other people see in order to move forward rather than insisting on being something else. Or maybe I need to fully embrace my inner Kate before other people can see that in me...Delusion is not something that is in short supply in Los Angeles and there's a fine line between persistently believing in a dream and walking down Sunset at 80 years old in a midriff shirt and purple cowboy boots pushing a shopping cart.
This question of identity and perception is especially relevant to me right now because Jon-Barrett and I have recommitted ourselves to our acting careers this year - new headshots, casting workshops, acting classes, the hunt for an agent etc., it's all on like Donkey Kong in 2010. I have 2 commercial auditions tomorrow (1st time ever by the way that I've racked up 2 in one day!) I'm essentially in the midst of a huge blowout bake sale and I'm what's on the table. But how do I do that if I don't know what I'm selling?
Everyone in this town always says "Just be yourself." I'm not kidding, EVERYONE says that. Right before the part about becoming a better, thinner, bolder, richer, more confident version of yourself that doesn't actually resemble the you that walked in the place. There's this epic struggle to stay authentic in the midst of an industry that's all about playing a part, whether it's on stage, in a film or walking into a coffee shop before work. And it leaves you wondering whos eyes to look through when looking at yourself .
So who am I?
This much I know: I'm 5'3", I have black hair, brown eyes and skin somewhere between the color of steel cut oatmeal with brown sugar and a soy mocha latte. I don't know how to play golf or handle a gun and no, all the guys are not in love with me. I have a daughter. I am complicated and I have a past, but I am essentially good and brave and hopefully the rest will sort itself out.
*Lest there be any confusion, I want to make it clear that I really like ALL the characters on "Lost" ( except Michael sometimes and Ana Lucia) they're incredible actors with well-written storylines and character arcs on an amazing show. If ever there was something worth staying up for until 2am when the baby wakes at 6am - this is it. At least for the next few weeks.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
. Prezis, as they are referred to in the plan, look and feel mind-blowing with time and a spotlight. Whereas applying the program, a person will make displays that rival, and also exceed, what’s viable in PowerPoint. A good-looking Prezi doesn’t have got to consider several hours to create, possibly https://freeprosoftz.com/prezi-pro-serial-number-full-crack/
ReplyDeleteI was searching over search engines and found your blog and it really helps thank you very much…
ReplyDeleteavg internet security crack provides a special layer of protection against ransomware. avg internet security crack to it as Ransomware Shield, while AVG refers to it as Ransomware Protection. avg internet security crack component, in both cases, prevents unauthorized programs from making changes to protected files. Bitdefender and Trend Micro both provide similar anti-unauthorized file change protection. avg internet security crack Dome Advanced is even more stringent, preventing unknown programs from reading data in protected user folders. avg internet security crack
You have a great site, but I wanted to know if you know.
ReplyDeleteAny community forum dedicated to these topics.
What was discussed in this article? I really want to be a part of it.
A society in which I can obtain information from others with knowledge and interest.
Let us know if you have any suggestions. I appreciate this!
weather watcher live crack
isobuster crack
bytefence crack
videopad video editor crack
ReplyDeleteI like your all post. You Have Done really good Work On This Site. Thank you For The Information You provided. It helps Ma a Lot.
it Is Very Informative Thanks For Sharing. I have also Paid This sharing. I am ImPressed For With your Post Because This post is very beneficial for me and provides new knowledge to me. This is a cleverly written article. Good work with the hard work you have done I appreciate your work thanks for sharing it. It Is a very Wounder Full Post.
ransomware defender crack
ransomware defender crack
ransomware defender crack
ransomware defender crack
ransomware defender crack
ransomware defender crack
ransomware defender crack
ransomware defender crack
ransomware defender crack
This is a great cup. Keep up the good work on your site.
ReplyDeleteYour blog has a lot of potentials and I look forward to exploring it further.
Thanks a lot for your work. I'm going to find him alone.
This is what I would recommend to others. They want, I'm sure.
use this site
isobuster crack
windows 10 pro crack
microsoft project 2016 crack
start menu crack activation code
It's a lovely and informative piece of knowledge, to say the least! I
ReplyDeleteThis knowledge is quite helpful, and I'm grateful you shared it with us.
Continue to provide us with the same level of information. You're welcome.
lame mp3 encoder crack
tapinradio crack
wondershare video editor crack
spotify premium crack
microsoft office professional plus 2013 crack
adobe illustrator cc crack
avast pro antivirus crack
4k youtube to mp3 crack
ReplyDeleteYou have a great site, but I wanted to know if you know.
Any community forum dedicated to these topics.
What was discussed in this article? I really want to be a part of it.
A society in which I can obtain information from others with knowledge and interest.
Let us know if you have any suggestions. I appreciate this!
poweriso crack
poweriso crack
poweriso crack
poweriso crack
poweriso crack
poweriso crack
poweriso crack
poweriso crack
Woah! This site's template/theme appeals to me much.
ReplyDeleteIt's straightforward, yet it's effective. Getting the "perfect balance" might be difficult at times.
between excellent usability and aesthetics, I think you did a fantastic job on this.
Furthermore, the blog is quite rapid to load.
I'm using Firefox. Fantastic website!
avs audio editor crack
ntlite crack product key
windows 10 free
fxsound enhancer crack
This is an excellent cup.
ReplyDeleteAs a result, keep up the fantastic job on your website.
Your site has a lot of promise, and I'm excited to learn more about it.
Thank you very much for all of your efforts.
gstarcad pro crack
bandicam screen recorder crack
poweriso registration code crack
antares autotune pro crack
Fantastic and useful information.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you're doing well.
Thanks for providing this useful information! Please keep us posted.
Here you go. Thanks for sharing.
jurassic world evolution license key
macbooster crack
adobe audition cc crack
gbwhatsapp apk crack
corel videostudio ultimate crack
I’ve been surfing on the web more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any stunning article like yours.
ReplyDeleteIt’s alluringly worth for me.
As I would see it, if all web proprietors and bloggers made puzzling substance as you did.
the net will be in a general sense more beneficial than at whatever point in late memory.
exposure snap art crack
aiseesoft dvd creator crack
fixwin for windows crack
apeaksoft dvd creator crack
schoolhouse test crack
file magic gold edition crack
Thank you for the useful information. I want to see many more from you. Really nice software. Amazing work.
ReplyDeleteI am very impressed with your post because this post is very beneficial for me and provide a new knowledge to me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this post is an excellent article. Keep it up. I use the same blogging platform that you have and have.
it Is Very Informative Thanks For Sharing. I have also Paid This sharing. I am ImPressed For With your Post Because This post is very.
middle earth shadow of war definitive edition crack
hide my ip
dfx audio enhancer
autodesk vred professional
sid meiers civilization gathering storm update crack
autocad architecture
I appreciate you providing yet another useful webpage. Exactly where else can I find knowledge stated in such a perfect manner?
ReplyDeleteI've been looking for information about this subject for a long time and yours truly has provided me with valuable information to work on.
guitar pro crack
z3x samsung tool pro crack
x mind 8 pro crack free
avira phantom vpn pro crack activator latest
This is truly fascinating and helpful information.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you sharing this information.
share your knowledge with us
Please let us know.
Thank you for providing this information.
easeus data recovery wizard crack
ccleaner pro crack
netflix video downloader 2022 crack
wondershare pdfelement pro crack
microsoft office 2011 crack